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On Squashing ACORN

One of the world’s finest sit-down comedians, Mathew Vadum regales with funny scare stories about “Marxist voter drives” meant to enfranchise the disenfranchised, tossing off humorous one liners on conservative talk shows.

“Registering poor people to vote is like handing out burglary tools to criminals,” the conservative columnist recently quipped in the American Thinker. “It’s profoundly antisocial and un-American to empower the nonproductive segments of the population to destroy the country—which is precisely why Barack Obama zealously supports registering welfare recipients.”

Mathew Vadum said it, so it must be true.

“Encouraging those who burden society to participate in elections isn’t helping the poor,” Vadum writes. “It’s about helping the poor help themselves to others’ money. It’s about moving America ever farther away from the small government ideals of the founding fathers.”

The man’s a riot, I tell you.

Vadum insists that he doesn’t hate the poor, he just hates that the poor are bringing down the republic. There is, no doubt, a fine philosophical distinction to be found hidden somewhere therein. After all, he’s the thinking man’s troglodyte.

The flap over the demise of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) made Vadum’s almost a household name, at least for those who don’t own households. It was Vadum who almost singlehandedly led the charge against the nonprofit social service community organization, whose mission to spur and encourage voter registration gained recognition with the passage of the Motor Voter Act. Vadum claimed that the communist Democrats involved in the get-out-the-vote scam were paying voters $8 and $9 a pop to vote, and to vote “D”. Of course there was no paper trail to prove that money had changed hands, but Vadum and cohorts successfully claimed that a lack of proof against criminal action was by itself, a criminal act.

When ACORN, awash in the goodwill of the public but woefully short on cash, sought Chapter 7 bankruptcy protection in 2010, it was Vadum and a handful of Tea-Party patriots who claimed a victory for true Americans.

Most conservative dissent at the time was carefully hidden behind the false bulwark of “voter fraud.” Since most poor people lack the kind of paper trail that could be checked on voter rolls, Vadum and his cohorts launched their successful drive against ACORN with the premise that the voters ACORN was signing up lacked the necessary proof that they were legitimate voters. And of course, ACORN ultimately lacked the kind of funding necessary to swat away the constant swarm of lawsuits brought by conservative power brokers, editorial hacks such as Vadum, and conservative mega-stars and common criminals like James O’Keefe. They proved to be an unbeatable team.

It was a class act, I tell you. Actually, it was all about class. And race, of course.

These days, Vadum keeps the hatred alive by showing up to give his breathtaking one-liners on conservative talk shows and the odd mainstream news (read FOX) interview, as well as in his writing for The American Prospect and the American Spectator. Between redistricting campaigns such as the one forcing Dennis Kucinich to quit Ohio, and voter suppression tactics meant to instill fear and loathing in the lower classes, Vadum is a busy boy indeed.

Vadum and many other conservative “thinkers” have a knee-jerk response to anything having to do with “community organizing,” which tells you all you need to know about their opinion of Barack Obama. Community organizing is, at its heart, a social program, and as we all know, social programs only embolden  lazy, greedy troublemakers, rabble-rousers, extremist revolutionaries, and even more dangerous…the blacks.

We’ll leave you with a few final words from the comedic champion of our rich, slave-holding founding fathers.

“It is destructive to register welfare recipients to vote so that they can vote themselves more government benefits. It’s even worse that our tax dollars are used to register recipients at welfare offices. It is a policy that would cause the [aforementioned] Founding Fathers to roll in their graves.”

“Of course, those who are legally qualified to vote should be allowed to vote, but our tax dollars shouldn’t be used to underwrite the destruction of the republic.”

As I said, Mathew Vadum is a seriously funny guy.

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