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Joy filled every aspect of my life waiting for the birth of my first granddaughter.  Imagine your first grandchild.  After all the trial-by-error years of raising your children, you now get to enjoy your first grand baby, knowing more about how to do everything perfect.  You can’t wait until she’s born.  It’s going to be a little girl.

I imagined all the wonderful things that we would do together.  I could never imagine the worst would happen, that my first granddaughter would be born stillborn.

It was the eighth month and the anticipation was growing high.  We had baby showers filled with all kinds of pink things.  Decorations of pink filled every corner.  Joy was filling every part of our very beings.

For me the birth of my first granddaughter was just the most incredible thought ever.  I imagined all the wonderful things that we would do together as she grew older.  She would play dress up in grandma’s things.  Grandma would put makeup on her.  I just was so excited for all the things that grandma would do with her granddaughter.
Then there were the plans of all the things I would do for her.  I would cuddle with her.  I would tell her wonderful bedtime stories.  I would change her diapers.  I would crochet her a blanket and hand-quilt her a crib quilt.

I even thought about when she would grow up and how she would need someone to talk to about school.  She surely would need someone to talk about where her parents were concerned.  Then there were the days when she would need to talk about the little boys in her life.

I imagined what it would be like for her to grow up and fall in love.  I imagined being there for her when she made her wedding plans.  I imagined the most wonderful wedding ever for my beautiful granddaughter.  I even thought as far ahead as her having her first child and what it would be like to share in that experience with her.

I never imagined that those things would never happen.  See, my granddaughter was stillborn.  The event that was supposed to be the most joyful day in all our lives was overshadowed by the loss of life.  I never imagined the worst.

All my imagines were gone.  Sorrow now filled every part of my very being.  All my dreams were gone in a simple sentence from the doctor announcing that our most precious first granddaughter was gone.

A person imagines in their minds the worst thing that could ever happen to them and how very hurtful that can be.  Honestly, those thoughts can never come close to the feelings you actually feel.

I wish I could tell you what the feelings were that I felt that day.  However, there really are no words that describe how I felt.  No one could comfort or console me. The doctor encouraged us to all hold her.  As I took the lifeless body of my granddaughter in my arms my heart broke inside.  It felt as though I was in a really bad dream that I could not wake up from.  How was I ever gonna be able to deal with this.  This is why I love to work and write for Sovereign Funding. David is a real person, a man who cares.  He sits with his kids, the same as I sit with my new grandchildren.  I didn’t tell this story to get anyone “down”, it’s for the purpose of explaining that sometimes, we don’t expect the worst and then it hits us square in the jaw.  Don’t worry if you’re hitting on hard times, Sovereign Funding is truly a structured settlements company who cares.

Somewhere, inside myself, I told myself that I was gonna have to be the strong one.  I didn’t feel strong.  I couldn’t imagine in my mind how I was gonna deal with all of this.
The days passed by as though I was on auto pilot.  All my dreams for my beautiful granddaughter were gone.  I could never imagine the worst and hopefully you never have to imagine the worst either.  If you’re struggling with a situation that has you on auto-pilot, call now.  We’re more than a mere structured settlements firm, we’re real people!

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